Sunday, January 9, 2011

Stepping outside of....

Paul's birthday was yesterday. He is the big 32! It was such a fun day (at least for me- Paul had to be in class for 8 hours before we went to play.) :)

Paul and I agreed a while ago that we are not going to buy each other birthday presents this year (due to wedding, my unemployment, etc.). So, for his birthday, my present was stepping outside of my comfort zone. Paul has done several things during our dating that have been outside of his comfort zone, and I've GREATLY appreciated it! I really think it helps a relationship expand and be happier when each person is willing to "Feel the fear and do it anyway." We went ice skating:)

Tessa's history with ice skating: I have only been 3 times I think, and the last time was at the least 7 or 8 years ago. I HATE it every time I go because I just walk around the edge and try to skate. I compare myself to everyone else, and feel definitely very stupid because I can't skate. I get so discouraged that I almost cry. Pathetic... I know:(

But this time was different! I was headed in the Pathetic direction for about 30 minutes, but I all of a sudden got this burst of energy and skated back and forth on the same stretch of ice- over and over and over. And I started actually skating correctly! It was such a thrill and by the end of the evening, Paul and I were doing circles around the ice with all the other skaters. Oh, the joy that it brought to conquer the seemingly impossible! Cheesy but true haha!

We headed back to Paul's house for some homemade Gingerbread cake. Sorry Paul- I had to include this picture because it brings me such joy!!! I lol for about ten minutes everytime I look at it.
Happy birthday FH!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Season

Ecclesiastes 3: "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." New chapters always come with excitement and a little bit of grief. Did I ever think I would be sad to leave my single years? No. Did I ever think I would actually get married someday? No. Do I know the sting and grief involved with not having dreams realized in a time frame I envisioned? ABSOLUTELY. Do I feel guilty that I am getting married sometimes? Yes. Haha- TMI for a blog?

So here I find myself, 11 days from getting hitched. So before I fully embrace the excitement, joy, and blessing of joining my life with Paul's, indulge me in some memories of the last 11 years:

1. Roommates- I have had 54 roommates. I think I am the luckiest lady on earth because I always had fabulous roommates! And many became dear friends that I hope I keep in touch with forever and ever. Too bad digital pictures don't go that far back but here's a roommate sampling:

2. College: I LOVED college. I always played more than I studied. And I'm so glad I did! BYU will always have a special place in my heart. Go Cougars!

3. Traveling- I've been a lot of places in the last 10 years! Seeing the world is so fun, and some of my trips have really forced me out of my comfort zone, and I've had to grow and expand. Ireland, Mexico, England, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Italy, Switzerland, Austria, France, Prince Edward Island, Kenya, and lots of places in the states: Washington state, New York, Washington DC, Florida, SoCal, Arizona, Texas, Nebraska, Kansas, Nevada, Colorado, and Idaho.

4. Center For Change- Since I had a break between undergraduate and graduate school, I got to work full time for several years. Now, I'm not sure if something is wrong with me, but I get teary-eyed every time I think about how much I loved working at CFC. This job was so fulfilling and meant the world to me. I LOVED the women with my whole heart. I loved the recovery process and I loved fighting eating disorders. I believe this job healed many of my wounds.

5. Dating- This was a large part of my last 10 years! I must say I didn't enjoy dating. I think every once in a while you find someone that enjoys first dates. I think those people are rare and I was NOT one of them haha! And I must admit that a big breakup put me in a tailspin for about two years. I am grateful that time and a new relationship have helped heal that! So let's talk about the dating that I have enjoyed:

Paul treated me well, WANTED to date me (??), got me flowers sometimes, and took the INITIATIVE! This was oh-so-exciting and still is!

Then, we fell in love with each other and wanted to marry each other?! Still doesn't feel real.

All I have ever prayed for is to find someone good to marry. I told God- I don't care if he's ugly, doesn't make much money, drives a crappy car etc. I just want him to be good! Paul happened to come with other perks such as handsomeness, but I had to date him long enough to love his testimony and to know that he is good and has such good desires. So, with both tears and smiles, dear new chapter of my life, here I come!